HOW TO START PLANNING A WEDDING

So, you are engaged, now what? Chances are you have already given some thought to your big day but, how do you make it a reality?  Below are some great tips on getting started on your perfect “I DO.”

 First, take some time to enjoy being engaged.  Talk to your fiancé about their vision for the day.  Is there something, in particular, they always wanted for their wedding? You need to create a shared vision, something that reflects both your wants and desires.  Taking this time will help you create the vision and get your priorities in order and organized for the next steps, budget, venue, guest list, and date.

Decide on your overall style and vibe.  Do you have a place in mind already? Do you want an intimate affair or are you leaning toward a large guest count?  Think about weddings you have been to.  Are there things you thought, “I have to do this” or “What a waste of money?” Talk to your parents, especially if they are paying in any way.  They will most likely want to have a say in at least a few things. 

Discuss a budget upfront.  It’s easy for things to get out of control pretty quickly.  Are your parents paying for everything, are you paying part or are you paying all of it? This can really affect your decisions. The next most important thing is the guest count.  These two things will help you decide on a venue.  You can’t have 300 guests at a venue that holds 175.  Think about who you could not get married without. If your cousin you have not seen since you were two does not fall into that category, do not feel like you must invite them just because they are family.

Next, you must decide what is more important to you, a venue or a date.  If you are open to different dates or even days of the week then you have more flexibility with your venue and budget.  After all, weekdays are less expensive than Saturdays in the prime wedding season.  In your area are there months that are more desirable for weddings?  These months usually book far in advance, in some cases 1-2 years, and can cost more.  If a particular date is a must, then know depending on when it could cost more or be harder to find a venue with that date depending on how far out you are booking.  Choosing a particular date can limit the venues you can choose from.  Be sure to account for all of this when deciding on a budget and a date.

Focus on the details that are the most important to both of you like colors, food, flowers, etc.  Don’t worry about the little things yet.  You have plenty of time to decide what song you will dance your first dance to.  There are things you need to take care of first such as securing the venue.  The venue you choose will dictate a lot of your other choices.

Get a planner.  Best money you will spend.  Some venues even require it.  Two schools of thought on this.  Some say venue first then planner, others planner first then venue.  I personally think of the venue first.  Some venues provide or require certain planners.  If you feel you must have a planner’s insight then by all means go ahead and hire a planner first. 

Start your guest list.  Again, this could dictate your venue choice.  Realize at least 20% of the people you invite will not be able to attend.  Could be more if they are traveling from out of state or country.  Your guest choices can also provoke some hurt feelings from friends and family.  For instance, your Mom may want to invite her entire book club to attend but you’ve never met any of them.  Think about if you will let guests bring a date even if it’s someone you don’t know well or at all.  Are kids invited?  Again, this can affect your venue choice as some don’t allow kids. Some guests may not come if their kids can’t. 

Hope I’ve given you enough to think about to get you started planning your big day. 

Best Wishes,

Mary

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Divorced Parents & Planning Your Wedding

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PICKING THE PERFECT PLACE TO SAY “I DO”